What have I gotten myself into?

A puppy! What was I thinking? As you get older a lot of things change, your memory becomes less reliable. You become forgetful. I totally forgot how hard it is to train a puppy. My patience isn't what it use to be. Everybody wants that puppy that comes when it's called, and doesn't have accidents in the house, and is well behaved at all times. Forget it! That doesn't exist. You have to work VERY VERY HARD to get to that point. I might be rushing things a bit. I want the puppy to listen and he's just so young. His attention span is about a nanosecond long. What unit of measure is about 100 times shorter than a nanosecond, because I think a nanosecond might be way too long! That's not even long enough to show him you have a treat in your hand. Which in the back of your mind you are thinking this dog isn't going to do anything unless I have a treat in my hand. Yup! You're right. He takes joy in doing the opposite of what I want, so we are fighting back with reverse psychology. When I want him to come and he is determined not to, I walk in the opposite direction and say "BYE" and disappear out of site so he gets curious enough to look for me. Unfortunately, He DOESN'T CARE! What's up with that! You buy toys because those little fur faces are so cute. You give him those beautiful toys which you so lovingly picked out just for him. Does he appreciate it? NO! He immediately shreds not only the new toys into a million pieces, but he then goes for the cat. Who by this time is none too happy with you or with the furry monster! So for now, we are going with the philosophy of treat it like a child: He will destroy things, he will kick and scream when you need to get your point across. He will be contrary. He will make you madder then anything you've ever experienced before. He will try to control you with those big brown eyes. He will pretend to be sweet when he is actually plotting his great escape. He will pee on your newly washed floor and look at you expecting you to be proud of him. He will fray every ounce of patience you have. Then at the end of the day, when both you and he are all tuckered out, he will fall asleep in your arms and you will love him like you've never loved anyone or anything in all your life. And you will actually fall asleep with this adorable bundle of fur in your lap. And you will be at peace, at least until you realize he just pee'd on you. You just gotta love em!